There is a reason why the title has been typed out in that particular way and if you’re on Twitter you’ll know at once why the hash-tag is in front of the title without spaces. Without getting into too much detail let me explain what is going on.

So on my birthday last year, someone very close to me gifted me the ultimate present – an iPad. They were fresh on the shelves and I was amongst the first in my environment to own one and have been really chuffed about it. I use the iPad almost as much as I use my phones so basically I do not leave the house without it if I can help it.

Enter my friend Sam who has suddenly developed a desire to own my iPad because for some strange reason he thinks I’m dying and need to part with all my worldly possessions and let him first dibs. This became a huge deal because he tried to trend the topic #GiveSamTheiPad on Twitter and started spamming the likes of Bob Collymore (CEO Safaricom) and Jeff Koinange (does this awesome man need an introduction…?) and he offered them vintage alcohol in exchange of pressure on me to part with my iPad. How can one stoop to destroying a friendship? It’s a rhetoric question, really.

As much as I love Sam to bits, as much as he has done so much for me, as much as I have forgiven him for having to pay Customs officials duty because of the alcohol bottles I ferried for him from Duty Free, there is no way I’m parting with my sexy iPad for Sam.

There. I said it. And no… I’m not budging even if you gift me my weight in diamonds.

And THAT is the story behind Sam wanting my iPad. He just wants me to kick the bucket. Anyway, even if I did kick the bucket I’m going with my iPad. I hear there is a Heavenly version of Angry Birds and you need to unlock the levels to get through the Pearly Gates.

Sam…. NO! Go away!!!