I forget stuff. This is not the regular short-term memory lapse because of age. Okay, maybe it partly is but the main reason is after the Westgate attack, my mind probably got rewired with the shock of it all. I feel sometimes that there is a huge chemical imbalance in my brain because for the life of me, I just cannot remember names, dates, people, incidences or anything that may be deemed important.
I’ll get flashes of memory recall every now and then but largely, I do not remember many things.
I get pretty embarrassed when I cannot remember faces or names. I also know that some people get very offended at that and get uptight with me over it. I apologise. I don’t do this on purpose. I’ve had a lady come up to me and say very indignantly that I’m just being a snob because of my ‘fame’.
I am not at all doing that, and neither am I hung up over what you think I do for a living makes me a snob. That, by the way is how you perceive things. It’s about you and not me.
On my end, I am constantly struggling to remember things, sometimes battling with asking myself if I need professional help or just stop fighting this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and get on with it. Largely, I do try hard to recall and remember. Sometimes, it may take longer to jog my memory but I do eventually figure out what someone is saying about an event, or I do eventually recognise whom I’m talking to.
Be gentle with me, please. I genuinely can’t remember. It’s not because of any hang-ups. My memory is really bad because of PTSD and I’m sorry it offends you that I can’t recall you.
I’m just apologetic you’re offended, and not that I can’t remember you.
But then again, maybe that’s why I am a happy person. I just don’t remember anything!