1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your partner is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: “How’s my driving-call 1-800-”

6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from “outer space.”

8. You can’t believe they don’t make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

9. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.