I’m probably digging my grave with this one but some things just have to be said. Also the very kind boss has always insisted he has an ‘open door policy’ so I’m going to walk through with this one but not physically just in case he thinks I’m walking in with a million dollar idea and then does me a famous Naija Clap like the ones we see on the newly revamped K!SS TV these days because he’d have to spend money and not receive it.
So here goes nothing.
Dear Mr Quarcoo,
Hello! First of all thank you for such a fabulous Christmas party that we all thoroughly enjoyed late last month. The food was good but the cake took the biscuit if you know what I mean. I loved the celebratory Radio Africa’s 10th anniversary cake. I even took pictures to show to my kids and my son promptly declared that he’d like a cake like that for his 6th birthday next month.
In your annual speech you kindly told us to drop by your table to say hi, enjoy the food and drink but not ask for a raise and since I didn’t get a chance that evening please allow me to express myself in the one form of communication I know you never miss to read from cover to cover.
I’m not asking for a raise (though who am I to say no if it tickles your fancy?) I’ve just got one single request from you and I know for sure you’ll be able to pull some muscle to get this problem solved.
Do you know that ramp outside Lion Place as soon as you walk out the main doors? It’s on the left. I think you know which one I’m on about. Well, my request is if you could kindly have a strong word with the management of the building have them sort that ramp out and make it less steep please.
You see, I love to wear my heels to work and when I have to exit that ramp I always pray I don’t topple over and have some VIP help me up. That happened to me twice. I slipped there once and the lovely security officer helped me and the second time I fell a very posh gentleman who I know had been in the Radio Jambo studio earlier on for an interview helped me up. I was too stricken to thank him properly because embarrassment at falling down was just too much. Good job I didn’t let out some choice words that are usually reserved for truck drivers’ potty mouths! My Mum would have put a spoonful of red chillies in my mouth for that.
Anyway, as I was saying, instead of a pay rise (just this once) would you kindly have that ramp sorted out for all us ladies who are at Radio Africa and love our heels and also value our lives teetering up and down that ridiculously angled ramp please? You will most certainly be Hero of the Month and we’d all be highly appreciative that you are concerned for our welfare.
I look forward to a positive response and above all hope to see some workmen in overalls with the necessary tools to sort that blasted ramp out.
Or you could just give me a massive pay rise so that I can invest in footwear to wear to work so I don’t fall down that ramp again. I’m happy either way.
(Not the technician guy who is in the IT department with the posh iPad)