I’m actually just fed up of pretending everything’s ok in my life when it’s not. I know everyone has their fair share of problems but that doesn’t mean mine are any less important. Yes I’m venting because if I don’t, I know I’ll become a basket case. Anyway, if I don’t vent and keep it in me, chances are I’ll be a hormonal bitch from hell in no time at all and then there will be a lot of mess to clean up after I’m done and dusted.
I’m actually getting quite saturated with everything around me to a point where I know I want to switch off. About three years ago I remember switching off my phones completely, deactivating my Facebook account (yes…. gasp… and I lived to tell the tale) and generally just kept away from the world at large. I actually enjoyed that time out I afforded myself and feel I need to do that again. The problem is that I have a very ‘high profile’ job. It’s obvious when I’m not at work and then the phones start ringing incessantly. While I appreciate the concern I would like to be left alone for a while. I’m just not able to put my thought process in order and am sinking deep into the quagmire of doom and gloom every single day.
I always promise myself ‘Me Time’ but never really end up getting around to it. In my car in the pocket on the side door, I have a gift voucher for a spa to go and spoil and pamper myself. I have renewed it so many times but never ended up going. I know I can make the time if I really wanted to but even being around people, pretending to smile and be happy and act like nothing is wrong is taxing.
I just don’t know what to do. I give up…