You can only get back something that you had lost. If you never had it in the first place it’s not really coming ‘back’ is it? What am I on about now? Well, Radio Africa always takes everything to a new level so when the lovely Kathy in our HR department got in touch with me and asked me if I’d liked to be enrolled in a fitness programme I agreed to it. The exact thought that went through my mind was that we’ll have a fancy nutritionist come in and tell us off about our (mostly my) eating habits, we would get weighed, some of us would get off with a light spank on the wrist while the rest (mostly me) would be told we will need divine intervention to be deemed remotely healthy.

I went to the first meeting wearing a flattering skirt that I thought would make me look at least three kilos lighter and contoured my cheekbones with some artfully applied blusher to look like I have a skinny face. It was in vain. Kathy whipped out her notebook and started talking about measuring the Body Mass Index, she animatedly went on to tell us about a machine you stand on that works out your body fat, the proteins in your body, sijui what and what. I just stared at her and started drawing hearts and triangles in my diary as I pretended to be taking notes. I had palpitations. Were they going to make me stand on a weighing scale and put it in the newspapers? My mouth went dry and I started thinking up excuses as to why I couldn’t be in this programme. Bad knee was on top of the list followed by a bad back, bad karma, and I even thought of relating my trauma of divorce from a violent alcoholic to get out of this regime but I knew it wouldn’t work.

Then I thought to myself that I had the best opportunity to get myself back into shape. Well, round IS a shape but somewhere along the way, with having kids and horrid eating habits I seem to have lost the former glory of a somewhat healthy body. I’m not bragging to be a Size Zero from way back then; I’ve always been voluptuous with curves in the right places but at least I had clothes that fit and weren’t deemed Plus Size. They say an opportunity is never lost – it just goes and knocks on someone else’s door and this time I thought it’s best I just opened the door and got on with it. I’m glad I did.

After the initial embarrassment of standing on the scale and having a horrid first work out session, which was a high energy Zumba class conducted by a teacher who seemed to have had 17 shots of espresso coffee before coming to the class, and then crawling to the changing room on all fours after that, I decided it wasn’t too bad after all. My colleagues who are also enrolled in the programme were not as fit as I thought they looked. I was relieved that they too were huffing and puffing after the workout just as badly as I was. There was hope for me!

It’s just been about a week and a half since we started this and I must say I am thoroughly enjoying myself. The classes squeeze the life out of me and I have aches and pains in body parts that I never knew could ache like that but it feels great. I actually take the stairs at Lion Place to the third floor and even though I still sound like Thomas the Tank Engine by the time I get there and stop for a breather on the second floor, I know it’s just a matter of time before I sprint up those stairs, taking two at a time. Ok, mild exaggeration there but you know what I mean.

Here’s to getting my Healthy Back with my wonderful colleagues and a great big thank you to our fab bosses for looking out for us. We will celebrate with carrot sticks and sparkling water when I reach my target weight. My treat.