Healthy Back? Never had it!

You can only get back something that you had lost. If you never had it in the first place it’s not really coming ‘back’ is it? What am I on about now? Well, Radio Africa always takes everything to a new level so when the lovely Kathy in our HR department got in touch with me and asked me if I’d liked to be enrolled in a fitness programme I agreed to it. The exact thought that went through my mind was that we’ll have a fancy nutritionist come in and tell us off about our (mostly my) eating habits, we would get weighed, some of us would get off with a light spank on the wrist while the rest (mostly me) would be told we will need divine intervention to be deemed remotely healthy.

I went to the first meeting wearing a flattering skirt that I thought would make me look at least three kilos lighter and contoured my cheekbones with some artfully applied blusher to look like I have a skinny face. It was in vain. Kathy whipped out her notebook and started talking about measuring the Body Mass Index, she animatedly went on to tell us about a machine you stand on that works out your body fat, the proteins in your body, sijui what and what. I just stared at her and started drawing hearts and triangles in my diary as I pretended to be taking notes. I had palpitations. Were they going to make me stand on a weighing scale and put it in the newspapers? My mouth went dry and I started thinking up excuses as to why I couldn’t be in this programme. Bad knee was on top of the list followed by a bad back, bad karma, and I even thought of relating my trauma of divorce from a violent alcoholic to get out of this regime but I knew it wouldn’t work.

Then I thought to myself that I had the best opportunity to get myself back into shape. Well, round IS a shape but somewhere along the way, with having kids and horrid eating habits I seem to have lost the former glory of a somewhat healthy body. I’m not bragging to be a Size Zero from way back then; I’ve always been voluptuous with curves in the right places but at least I had clothes that fit and weren’t deemed Plus Size. They say an opportunity is never lost – it just goes and knocks on someone else’s door and this time I thought it’s best I just opened the door and got on with it. I’m glad I did.

After the initial embarrassment of standing on the scale and having a horrid first work out session, which was a high energy Zumba class conducted by a teacher who seemed to have had 17 shots of espresso coffee before coming to the class, and then crawling to the changing room on all fours after that, I decided it wasn’t too bad after all. My colleagues who are also enrolled in the programme were not as fit as I thought they looked. I was relieved that they too were huffing and puffing after the workout just as badly as I was. There was hope for me!

It’s just been about a week and a half since we started this and I must say I am thoroughly enjoying myself. The classes squeeze the life out of me and I have aches and pains in body parts that I never knew could ache like that but it feels great. I actually take the stairs at Lion Place to the third floor and even though I still sound like Thomas the Tank Engine by the time I get there and stop for a breather on the second floor, I know it’s just a matter of time before I sprint up those stairs, taking two at a time. Ok, mild exaggeration there but you know what I mean.

Here’s to getting my Healthy Back with my wonderful colleagues and a great big thank you to our fab bosses for looking out for us. We will celebrate with carrot sticks and sparkling water when I reach my target weight. My treat.

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