When a relationship ends


People come and go from your life. Relationships come to an end because people stop getting on with each other, or maybe they die and leave one person behind mourning for them. You become from best friends, to lovers to someone you used to know. The most painful in all this is the transition from being heartbroken, angry and upset to learning to move on.

I found some fantastic tips to get over a breakup and Iโ€™m sharing them with you:


  1. Take time out to grieve.Recognise the intense and sometimes conflicting emotions youโ€™re experiencing and accept that you wonโ€™t be at your best for a while. Itโ€™s okay to give yourself a break.
  2. Remember grief lessens with time.It might seem easier said than done, but try to remind yourself that things will get easier after a while.
  3. Donโ€™t go through it alone.Isolating yourself can make the grief more difficult to cope with; support networks will help you get through this difficult time. If you donโ€™t feel you can share your feelings with family or friends, post your thoughts on the Couple Connection forum to get advice and support from our online community.
  4. Remind yourself of the future.It may feel hard to let go of the hopes and dreams you held for your past relationship, but itโ€™s important to remember you have a new future to embark on and encourage yourself with the knowledge that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace the old ones.
  5. Find new interests. Try to see the breakup as an opportunity for new beginnings. Take up a new hobby that attracts like-minded individuals; get into sport and revamp your image; or use dating or social networking sites to make new friends โ€“ all of these things will help improve your confidence, take your mind off the break up, and encourage you to have fun again.

What happens when a relationship ends because of death? That can be really difficult to deal with at times. First things first, donโ€™t isolate yourself. Talk to people. It always helps. While after a break up your first reaction is to throw out the gifts you were given, sometimes a departed oneโ€™s possessions bring you peace. I remember sobbing into my father in lawโ€™s white shawl after he passed away. I grieved by reading his letters, his books, looking at his photos and remembering the good times and I always had that white shawl near me.

Like I said, we all go through some sort of a break up. Relationships end either out of choice or they just abruptly end. Either way, you must learn to let it go and move on. No, you cannot erase the memories you have had with that person and no you cannot just wake up one day and pinpoint that that was the day you finally got over the person who left you. Itโ€™s a gradual process and it takes time. Allow yourself this time, allow yourself to grieve for yourself, for what was or might have been, but donโ€™t dwell on it too long.

Hereโ€™s to a very healing future.

Twitter: @kamz26



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