The life of an alcoholic. You blame everyone but yourself for the way your life turned out. It’s always someone else’s fault that things didn’t work out. There’s always a blame game going on, the need to control others is strong and being in denial is the biggest thing of all. An alcoholic is always last to know of their problem because of denial.
“I know how much I drank” or “Stop lying. I never said that” or “You’re making things up. I was drunk but not that drunk” or “I know what I’m doing”.
You are trying to convince yourself, not anyone else. Whether you drink everyday or don’t drink all week but end up binge drinking, you have negative tendencies. Get out of denial and sort yourself out or you’ll be left all alone, bitter, angry, broke, unhappy.
2 thoughts on “Alcoholism ”
I have been dealing with my friend who says “I know what I’m doing” for a while now. She drunk throughout her pregnancy and her baby was an underweight primie… Since then I started to notice she was drinking while hiding. And she always has alcoholic breath on her when she gets home from work. Worse… The other day I bumped into her at the supermarket… She was milling around in a daze. I love my friend. But her choice to be in denial is ruining hers and her children’s lives what can someone like me do? I stopped going to her house when I realized that she was using me. You know I stay and watch the kids while she is out drinking… Also she isn’t honest with me and I can’t keep bailing her out by being around and rescuing her from herself. I don’t want to be an enabler..
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I lived with an alcoholic for 14 years. I know all about the lying, the fibs, the hiding of alcohol in the stupidest of places, not going to work, being irresponsible and worse of all, sleeping around with people.
You are right. You can’t keep bailing her out and also you can’t be the one looking after her children. Does anyone in her family know of this problem? Surely even the family can’t be denial! From my own experience, it’s usually family problems that weaken them and they turn to alcohol.
You have to confront her and tell her to get help. Also be prepared to lose her friendship at this point. When she sees you won’t enable her, she will find herself other friends who will encourage her habits. They have a way of attracting their own kind.
Tell her to talk to a doctor or see a psychologist for help. Again, she will want to have to do this. No power on earth will make her seek help if she doesn’t want to do it.
Hold her accountable for her actions. Ask her loudly if she has been drinking again. Ask her why she does it. Ask her where she buys it from. Keep asking. Alcoholics live in denial. They refuse to take any kind of responsibility. In my case, when confronted, he turned violent. Ensure that in this case the children are not being beaten up. Ask someone trusted in her family to try and take the kids away from her for a while. Notify her employers of her drinking problem. Colleagues can help sometimes if they know. They will stop asking her out for that drink after work or ask her why she has alcohol on her breath at odd times on the day.
Also, don’t take it to heart or blame yourself if you are unable to help her. This really is years of build up that is manifesting in alcoholism. I hope this was of some help.