I’m not here swearing at someone who didn’t deliver my baked goods on time. I’m here to share my favourite, newest secret with you because I did promise myself to do more for this world. Therefore, I am going to tell you about The Bastard Baker.

There I was, minding my own business hating this world for not caring about global warming when I saw a mutual friend on Facebook praising some baker whose first name was a profanity. They got me at ‘bastard’. My curiosity got the better of me and I stalked the page and decided to place an order.

The response was prompt. I was sent a price list that had such yummy contents that I was tempted to do a bit of a ‘mixed platter’ of everything.

Sanity prevailed and I ordered a couple of things and The Baster Baker threw in a some of his recommendations after establishing exactly what it was that I wanted to tickle my taste buds with.

That particular day I wasn’t feeling very friendly towards this world so he did say the giant chocolate chip soft cookies would help solve world problems. Sceptical at first, I thought I’d give it a go.

I was asked for delivery details and I did request he write TOXIC on the boxes since I have teenagers in the house who wolf down anything that remotely looks edible. I could happily kick them hard for doing this to me but this is another story for another day.

The goods were delivered to my door in a lovely reusable bag and then I howled with laughter. The Bastard had obliged with the ‘Toxic ‘labels…

In fact, he went out of his way to get all artistic and draw the toxic hazard sign. Even before I had tasted the goods, I had decided The Bastard Baker would be catering for my parties henceforth!

After this, all I’ll tell you is that the baked goodies were divine – the best I’d ever tasted. My taste buds were tickled with salted caramel, chocolate chip bits, chocolate in abundance and goodness knows what else.

Please look out for The Bastard Baker on Instagram and Facebook and place your order. Quote “Kamal Kaur” while ordering – not because you’ll get a massive discount but I’ll get great clout with him so that the next time I order from him he may just surprise me with a freebie.

Your reward for this is that I shared my bastard with you…