I don’t fear spiders and while the mere thought of a snake disgusts me, it doesn’t scare me. I’m actually scared of other stuff.

According to Wikipedia a phobia is an irrational, intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, animals, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive and unreasonable desire to avoid the feared stimulus. When the fear is beyond one’s control, and if the fear is interfering with daily life, then a diagnosis under one of the anxiety disorders be made.

So in no particular order, here are some things I fear. I’m wondering if I should go and look at a proper list of phobias and if they’re interesting enough, adopt them as my own…

1. I fear heights. Even when I watch a scene in a movie my mouth goes dry and my toes start to tingle and my heart starts beating faster than normal. Remember that scene in Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts is perched right on top of the penthouse balcony? My mouth has gone dry just thinking about it and now I’m shaking at the knees.
2. I fear being drowned. This is thanks to that git Mr. Waweru in primary school when he pushed me off a springboard at the swimming pool in school and ensured that I feared putting my head under water for the rest of my life. That is NO WAY to teach a 7 year old swimming. He has scarred me for life.
3. I fear being suffocated. Yes I know there are fancy names for all my fears but I’ve got to explain them properly. I cannot sleep with my feet under the covers no matter how cold it is and I cannot wear socks to bed. I feel if my feet can’t ‘breathe’ then I’ll probably suffocate to death. Also I have a tendency to hold my breath in an elevator. I have no idea why I do it. I just do it. I got stuck in a lift once with someone with the WORST ever B.O. and I nearly puked the contents of my intestines in the elevator. Maybe it stems from that. I don’t know.
4. I fear dying alone. I am very scared of being lonely. I always have been, that is why most of my life I have surrounded myself with people who don’t really matter. It’s just that I never wanted to be alone. It must be something karmic that right now I only have my kids with me. One day they will leave the home to go away and study and start their own lives, then what? *SHRIEK* I’m going to die lonely. 😦

I think these are my main fears. I’ve decided to go online and look into a proper list of phobias and see what suits my personality. One thing I don’t fear is attention…!

🙂