Directions In Life โ€“ which way are YOU going?

If youโ€™re born in an Asian family, chances are your fate is already being decided by your family even as youโ€™re in the process of being pulled out of your motherโ€™s womb. Sounds graphic, I know, but thatโ€™s what happens all the time. Straight away your parents start living their dreams through you, they turn into their parents and want you to become something they probably couldnโ€™t and hope you reach heights they couldnโ€™t. If youโ€™re 6 and resentful of being sent to ballet class you have every right to spit your venom especially if youโ€™re a boy and donโ€™t really care that grown men dance the ballet too. At 6 itโ€™s highly traumatic to be the only boy in Ms. Petite Mademoiselle de Ballerinaโ€™s class while the rest of Year 2 boys are doing the manly thing with a National Level Tae Kwon Do teacher.

If youโ€™re a girl, your paternal grandma has probably already decided you will get engaged by 22 as opposed to 17 because cucu (granny)has โ€˜modern viewsโ€™ to life. The amniotic fluid is still being wiped off you by a nurse and your fate has already been decided that you will become a lawyer or a doctor. Of course along the years the thought process does change but itโ€™s always same shit, different pile.ย You cannot change the mindset of Indians very easily because there is centuriesโ€™ worth of ingraining to deal with. Being in a modern society may help alter the views but deep down, if at 25 their daughter isnโ€™t married off or engaged to a well-to-do man, they start worrying and interfering in their kidsโ€™ lives.

So when I was supposed to get married, I wasnโ€™t asked. I was told. It ended up a disaster and I almost ended up bitter and angry. Luckily I have a great sense of humour and the ability to smile through it all. Funny thing is that right now even though Iโ€™m so independent I sometimes stagger if I donโ€™t have direction. I am so used to being told at every step of the way how to do everything, not because I donโ€™t know how to do it but because I have to do it in a certain way to please someone, I had completely forgotten what it was like to enjoy being there for myself.

I make mistakes but I revel in them because they are MY mistakes. I learn from them and not get bitter or angry or upset because they were my decisions and I try not to have any regrets in life about that. Sometimes itโ€™s hard but Iโ€™m slowly getting used to the idea that no one is going to live my life for me. Itโ€™s up to me how it should shape up and in all this if someone doesnโ€™t like the way I lead my life you can jolly well go jump in a cold lake. ย I also know that I will be the first to help you out of this cold lake because thatโ€™s the kind of person I am but I just donโ€™t want to be taken granted for.

I want to be accepted as I am because when Iโ€™m me, Iโ€™m frikking FABULOUS.

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