That’s not a proclamation from me. It’s how many people perceive me in my single state. I’m not single out of choice. I always dreamed of my Prince Charming, two kids, white picket fence and a dog. The dog died and the Prince turned out to be an alcoholic who wanted different things from life.  Circumstances led us to part ways and I now have custody of the wonderful kids and the white picket fence that needs a coat of paint.

As a woman in a relationship, I used to get invited all the time, even to events where my partner wasn’t expected to be even though the invitation did read ‘Mr. & Mrs.’. After we parted ways, I’d like to say the invitations started trickling but that would be a lie. They just stopped. End of story. No one wants to invite a woman to a party or get together because it’s awkward to have a recently separated woman amongst couples. You see, she might just be desperate to be with a man so perhaps the ones in relationships feel it’s best to keep single women away.

First of all, if you find the need to keep single women or any other women away from your man, clearly you have issues in your relationship. You obviously don’t trust your man. A man who is very happy in his relationship with his woman will never go seeking another. He is only going to do that because you probably piss him off no end and bore the eyeballs off him that he will go look for company in a woman who doesn’t just talk about the price of vegetables, the inane talk at the kitty party, talking about clothes, what you bought and for how much and generally bitching about anyone and everyone.

So people who I thought were friends stopped keeping in touch or inviting me over. I’d get the odd invitation but I’d politely decline because I’d feel awkward with their piteous stares and whispers behind my back directed at me.  The gossips also made life difficult for me. My very close friend and I were angry and very hurt at baseless accusations from someone who hadn’t the guts to level them at my face. She actually called my friend’s husband to her house and accused him of having an affair with me. I wanted to take legal action at such slander but I was told by my friends, who I think the world of, to let it be. I’m close to them because in my time of need, both of them stood by me and did things for me and my children that even my family wouldn’t have been able to match up to.

When this small-minded person suddenly started raking up dirt I was told by many people to let it be. I was really furious at the petty thought process of someone who tries to come across as tolerant of the ways of the world. People who speak ill of others have the most to hide and be ashamed of in their own lives, and with that I forgave the bitch, especially after I found out some things that had me laughing out loud. Karma truly is awesome!

So here’s the deal. If you have a friend, especially female, who is recently separated from her partner, please don’t treat her like trash. In her moments of lonely singlehood, where she is probably trying to deal with the pain of ending a relationship, try and be nice to her. And if you feel awkward and can’t be nice or have nothing to say, then make sure you don’t spew lies and filth about her. You have no idea what went on in the relationship that has ended unless you were this woman’s partner. Stop being ignorant and making life miserable for someone who is already hurting.

Also just because you see me with a man doesn’t mean I’m dating him, screwing him, or in a relationship with him. I have a lot of friends who are male and I’m proud to say they’re awesome guys who don’t judge me and treat me with a lot more respect than many women I know. Their partners have no qualms with them being friends with me, and it’s all good. A man does not have to be called ‘brother’ by me just so you can approve of my friendship with him. I’ve been blessed with a lot of brothers, thank you very much, and my friends will always have a special place in my life. Basically if you’re thinking filth about my relationship with my male friends, then the filth is definitely in your dirty head.

Rant over for this week. Have a fab one. I’m meeting my mates for a game of pool. They’re all male…