At the end of every year I like to make useless resolutions to follow the next year. Actually, it’s more to just put on a list and then add things I’ve already done to tick them off as done so that I don’t feel like a total loser at the end of the year when I’m taking stock of life. Of course in all this I’m just cheating myself but at least I’m not in denial about it.
Weight loss has always been on my resolutions list. This year I realized that it’s never been about being healthy – it’s always been about losing weight. I kind of like the way my thought process has shifted this year and I have decided to focus more on health than weight loss. Maybe in the coming year, it won’t be difficult to adopt this resolution since there is no more self-inflicted pressure on being Size Zero; not that that’s a size I wish to be. I love my curves!
Besides the weight loss, I have always had another resolution that I could never really fulfill and that was to overcome my fear of drowning. I used to get recurring dreams every time I had a spat with someone that that person is trying to drown me. I’d be fearful of getting into a pool and stick to the edge clinging on for dear life in case I drowned or something. This fear stems from when I was in primary school and my swimming coach thought he was doing me a favour by throwing me in from the deep end thinking I’d either learn to swim or drown. I panicked and nearly drowned and he scarred me for life.
This year I decided enough is enough and started taking swimming lessons. It took a lot of guts to be able to sign up for lessons and make myself turn up for them without making excuses. So after a few lessons I was able to swim across the width of the pool without breaking into a cold sweat or having a panic attack and the day I swam a length I burst into tears at the end of it. I could swim!
I’m no Jason Dunford and have no intentions of going out of my way to learn some more swimming techniques. I just did this so that I could overcome my fear by facing it and putting it behind me. While I may not be gloriously elegant while swimming, I’m well aware that the little that I know has been my biggest achievement this year and I’m really proud of it. More so, my children are very proud of me and really encourage me to swim more often. The good thing about my fear ensured that they took their swimming lessons at school seriously in case they needed to save their drowning mother. See? Everything has a positive aspect to it!
In 2012 I have no set goals for myself. I have lowered my expectations in life and eventually hope to have none at all because expectations only ever lead to disappointment. I am going to try and be satisfied with everything I have been blessed with but that does not mean I’m going to go slack in any aspect of life. I still have a lot to do, a lot to achieve and I’m not going to give up easily.
Have a wonderful start to the New Year and leave all negativity in the past, where it belongs. Move forward with focus on positivity and that is exactly what you will attract to yourself.
Thank you for being the Masala in my life. Happy New Year!