Yes… Bullies ARE cowards.

I can’t stand people who bully. I get really angry and upset when my son comes home from school and tells me he got bullied in school because ‘he doesn’t have a father’.  I had tears in my eyes when my son said he got called a loser in school. It drives me absolutely crazy when kids so young can destroy someone’s confidence with such harsh words that end up hurting weaker souls.

I will only blame this on upbringing. Yes I will. You, as a parent, don’t have the bloody time of the day to spend with your children, you take no interest in their lives whatsoever, you buy them expensive gadgets and toys and give in to their every demand when they whine just to shut them up so that you can carry on living your life without being interrupted. You say you work hard to give your children the best but does that mean you also neglect to hone in on other aspects of their lives and pay no attention? Of course it’s not your duty, you feel. Isn’t that why you send your kids to such posh, expensive schools where you highly expect them to teach your kids basic manners and etiquette besides preparing them for the future? Teachers are not parents. What a Mum or a Dad can do for a child is far different from what a teacher can do.

Teachers have my full respect. They lay the foundation blocks for our children so that they can grow up to be successful and wonderful human beings. It is your duty as a parent to teach your kids and instil good values in them. How on earth can you not know that your child bullies other kids in school? How come you don’t take an interest in what they do?

I have come across many parents who often tell me that they want to be their child’s friend. Fair enough. But listen to this very carefully. They will have a lot of friends who come and go from their lives. You’ll be the only Mum or Dad to them in this walk of life. Instil good values in your children, spend time with them, ask questions, be more involved in what they do in school, get to know their friends, observe behaviour changes, meet the parents of their friends which will instinctively tell you more about the child who hangs out with your kid.

Teach your kids to speak respectfully. I do not tolerate at all if my kids dare to utter anything they shouldn’t. I do not let them even say words like ‘stupid’ or shut up’ or ‘silly’. Why use words to put others down from such a young age? What are we teaching our kids? I went to someone’s house for a cup of tea once and heard their 4 year old boy use the F word. I was gasping and waiting for that kid to be corrected but they just laughed it off and said he picked it from his Dad who is always swearing. If you need to indulge in swear words, that’s up to you, but have the common sense of not using these words in front of your children for goodness sake.

I’m not holier than thou. I have used words that would have had my Mum scrambling to put a teaspoon of red chilli powder in my mouth to teach me a lesson but I do not say anything in front of my kids. I have sat them down and have told them that there will be words they will hear from others but I do not want those words coming out of their mouths. Being in denial about swear words doesn’t help. Not everyone will have your values but you can sit your kids down and talk to them and tell them their boundaries.

This rant has been prompted by an article I read online about a 15 year old boy who committed suicide because he was being bullied by being called gay.

Some kids are called gay because many young people use the word as a general term to mean anything that is bad, ugly, useless, weak, or different. A 2007 report by Stonewall (UK), the gay equality charity, suggests that most schoolchildren have heard the phrases ‘You’re so gay’ or ‘That’s so gay’ used as an insult.

Teach your kids tolerance. Teach your kids manners. There is nothing wrong with being gay. They are humans who have the right to live their lives as they deem fit. Who on earth are you to judge?

Enough with the rant! Take an interest in your child’s life. It will be the best thing you will ever do for them.

And if you’re a bully and reading this – go seek help instead of making others miserable. Miserable coward.