I attract drama

I am not sure what it is about my life but I seem to attract some sort drama every now and then.

Do I go looking for it? No.

Do I need such drama in my life? No.

Then why do things keep happening to me? Today, I left the boss’s apartment to go to my next meeting. I waved my byes and sauntered out of the door promising myself to never wear these high heels ever again. The left shoe was pinching my little toe and that was enough to decide that they should be given away.

I got to the elevator and heaved a sigh of relief. The elevator was working. In the morning I had to huff and puff to the fifth floor in these same heels and the two bags that I was carrying because it was out of service. I sounded like Thomas the Tank Engine on bad medication by the time I reached the door.

Anyway, I got into the elevator, looked at my reflection in the mirror as I pressed the button to go down to the ground floor and fiddled with my hair. I was just about to get my lipstick out for a touch up when there was a gentle jolt and a sound similar to a truck pressing its brakes. I glanced at the floor indicator. It showed ‘one’.

I’m sure I don’t weigh 500kgs…

I giggled. I was actually stuck in the elevator. I pressed the open door button.

Nothing.

Again.

Nothing.

Hmmmmm.

A bit of a nervous giggle.

I then decided to call the boss to say I’m stuck and requested if he could get somebody to help me.

Then his wife Sunita called. Bless her. She kept me assured that help was on its way.

I then spotted the elevator alarm button.

This was fun. I nervously pressed it again. Sunita calls again to check if I’m okay. They may have heard the alarm. I assured her I was fine. I managed to keep calm and was actually beginning to find this funny. Ruzaik (boss guy) calls to ask for the emergency numbers on the elevator.

I started tweeting.

I asked for help. I asked for my knight in shining armour. I asked if I was stuck in here forever, would they count me in the census? I had some serious thoughts going on.

Ho hum.

Suddenly I hear something. It’s like the air conditioner or air supply has turned off.

Sunita is on the phone again. At this point I’ve decided I only have one person in this whole world who cares for me. Ruzaik (boss guy) was more concerned about where my will was kept.

I laughed. I needed that, because now some alarm started sounding off and I wasn’t in charge of controlling that. It threw me off and mild panic started setting in. I had my Rescue Remedy drops on me, thankfully.

(Do you understand now why my bags weigh a ton?)

I started telling myself loudly that it’s just the elevator alarm. I kept repeating it to myself. I had to or I’d have had a full blown panic attack yet again. I had just had one a month ago.

My colleague Duncan kept talking to me, which I was grateful for. He was making me laugh and that helped keep the anxieties at bay. I’ve whatsapped the family group at this point. I’m glad I did. They laughed first and then showed concern. No mention of my will was made but I did type a rather dramatic message to them.

I was sent a whole load of cute baby pics to keep me focused. It worked. Our little bubba in the family is the cutest ever.

Duncan is laughing. He tells me help is here. I hear him asking them something and then VOILA!!!

I let out a hysterical laugh with relief. The confidence that threatened to leave me was back.

Now for the next hindrance. How on Earth was I going to climb out of here? Why did I wear a skirt today? What was I thinking when I pulled out my heels from the back of my closet? What is the capital of Czechoslovakia? Does it even exist? Which year did the Berlin Wall fall? My thoughts were all over the place.

I spot the ladder at the back. Can you see it in the picture? Duncan says it’s too big. Sunita (MY NEW BEST FRIEND HENCEFORTH!) says they have a ladder at home that could be lowered into the elevator and get me out. The ladder is sent for from their apartment and lowered in. I gingerly take off my shoes and put them out. Sunita asks me to hand her my bags.

Duncan is on hand to capture this moment of freedom…

I DID IT!

The good spirits are back in full force. Ruzaik was standing there asking technical questions about the elevator to the guy who pried open the doors. He looks at his ladder and said he may need a new one because I’d damaged this one.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Lowkey I know everyone was concerned for my safety.

I skip down the stairs to the ground floor… actually I’m lying. I hobbled down on shaky, nervous legs and sat in my car for ten minutes trying to stop shaking. I informed the family I was alive and well but no one replied. I think they didn’t want to commit to the ‘So Glad You Made It Out Of The Elevator Alive’ present…

Right!

I’m speaking to the person who has my voodoo doll. I’m sorry for everything. Please stop. Please.

Allow me to lead a bit of an uneventful life for a while. I’ll bake you a cake.

One comment

  1. “..I asked if I was stuck in here forever, would they count me in the census?”

    This is funny but also not funny.
    The lifts where I work are forever faulty, I’ve been stuck a few times too, I’m afraid I’m getting used to it now, and the management still doesn’t think it’s a cause for concern.

    Like

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